natoth_muse: (intrigued)
[personal profile] natoth_muse
Muse: Na'Toth
Fandom: Babylon 5

I believe, the question is formulated a little bit incorrectly. There are no the worse qualities, there are moments when your best qualities start to work against you.
I do not like to be engaged in self-digging, but all right, I'll try.
I think, that I know myself well enough. I come from Fifth Circle, do not forget it. The good warrior should know the strong and weak features to be able to take advantage of them in case of need.
My main quality which always irritated my teachers and relatives (yes, is time to tell it frankly) it is irascibility. I was easy for enraging, and consequences can be unpredictable.
If to add to this obstinacy, the terrible mix turns out.
Yes, my teachers were worn out, when tried to transform it to something more useful.
Let's continue the list.
I am workaholic and perfectionist. If to recollect my obstinacy and irascibility, you can imagine, what can happen, if it was not possible to bring any thing or business to perfection or even to finish it.
I am exacting to people and their acts. As well as to myself. I try to be indulgent, but it is very difficult for making sometimes.
But the worst, perhaps, is my rancour. I can forgive the person for some offences, I try to not go in cycles because of trifles... But even when both sides have apologized, the conflict is solved... These offences remain in my memory, somewhere in a secret place, they lay there, and can pass a lot of time, perhaps, I'll not recollect them anymore... But if the person will repeat offence... These memoirs instantly appear in my memory, fresh as though it happened yesterday.
When I was the child, I have eaten fruit, having disobeyed the father. Fruit looked very beautiful, and I thought, that it will be same tasty. But it appeared rotten inside, and I could not get rid of disgusting taste in a mouth long time.
A lot of time was required that I began to eat these fruits again. But all the same I concerned to them intently though they were very tasty.
The same sensation with my rancour.
I can forgive insult or offence, but this rotten taste... It dozes somewhere in the subconsciousness, ready to appear as soon as this offence will be repeated...
Perhaps, this inability to forget the last insults complicates communication with me. Perhaps, this my feature forces me to keep aloof among friends, not speaking about enemies.
I can overcome my irascibility, my obstinacy and perfectionism. But as to memory... Here I am compelled to recede.

April 2017

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