natoth_muse: (myself)
[personal profile] natoth_muse
Muse: Na'Toth
Fandom: Babylon 5

"Na'Toth, you do not listen to me again!"
Aunt La'Eth sighed wearily, having noticed, that her eleven-year niece looks in a window instead of heeding her words.
The girl slowly turned a head to the aunt. Her scarlet eyes looked directly at Narn woman.
"I listen to you, aunt."
And she yawned, not trying to hide it from her at all.
La'Eth never distinguished by special patience, frowned, having seen so frank expression of disrespect. One more instant, and sonorous slap in the face sounded in a room.
The Narn girl silently touched a cheek which began to swell up, but not made a sound, only her eyes were narrowed defiantly.
The aunt approached to her, lips squeezed together in a thin line, eyes sparkled, as two rubies. During this moment they were very similar: the aunt and her niece.
" If you listened to me then repeat that you should remember. List to me names of our ancestors!"
La'Eth almost hissed these words.
The girl impudently faced her. She knew, that the aunt does not bear those ones who dare to argue with her, but could not restrain any more.
" I'll not repeat it. And I do not want to spend my time for learning of names of people which have died many years ago. "
The aunt opened wide a mouth, stunned with her words.
" I do not understand, what for I should remember all this stuff when it can be written down in books... or even on data-crystals. "
Na'Toth was got up and directed to a door.
" But it is our tradition! - the aunt recovered from amazement at last, - the person who does not remember the ancestors, cannot be a high-grade member of a society... "
Narn girl sighed, having looked at La'Eth. The woman still clinged to traditions of the past, cannot look to the truth in eyes.
" Look around, aunt. Our world is not such what it was at our ancestors. And stories which you tell to me, have turned to legends and fairy tales now. I do not renounce my family, but I do not want to spend my time for nonsense. I'll spend this time for Tokti trainings better. "
The girl opened a door, but added, having recollected about something.
" Besides, your stories are incomplete. You never spoke me about family of my mother. "
Here the aunt has taken advantage of the moment to avenge the rebellious niece wholly. Her lips twisted in a contemptious grin.
" Hardly the family of this Centauri slave-girl is worthy to be mentioned in our family archive. Your mother never spoke us about her family, I believe, she simply did not remember it. Slaves never remember such things. Also it is one more reason which distinguishes free people from slaves. The one who remembers ancestors, has chance to remain free even if will get in slavery. The one who does not remember the family, is doomed for pity plebeian existence. But I'll not keep you if you have made the decision. I know, you are too obstinate to overpersuade you. "
Words of the aunt drop in Na'Toth's soul as poison, and each drop burnt, causing a strong pain. But girl forced herself to keep unperturbably, understanding, that irascibility only will please the aunt which never missed an opportunity to sting NaToth if found out any weak spot. She stepped for a door, trying to hold a head high, but the voice of the aunt stopped her again.
La'Eth continued, but now there was no jeer in her voice, only weariness and any sadness.
" Before you will leave, Na'Toth, I would like, that you have understood one thing. Books and crystals can be destroyed. Temples can be destroyed. Centauri Occupation shown us, that a unique reliable way to keep knowledge of our past it to learn it by heart. How our ancestors did in the past. Only so we can recollect who we are, and whence came. When Centauri came in our world, first of all they have tried to destroy these memoirs. Because it have strange power.
Perhaps, you are right, and your Tokti trainings have the greater value now, than the boring list of ancestors which died for a long time... But if you remembered them... you would become stronger... "

Na'Toth was silent some time, and La'Eth turned a back to her, intending to return to a table where the book with a family tree laid, but here Narn girl started talking, and these words have forced the aunt to stop on place.
" I am Na'Toth from the Fifth Circle, daughter of Shu'Toth, son of Na'Shoth, son of G'Rok, son of..."

* * *

" grandmother G'Jhad was one of leaders of Resistance and was lost in battle with army of Lord Tronno the Chastiser though there are legends, that she survived and continued to battle in the other city... My grandfather Na'Shoth was among those desperate guys who could raise revolt in colony Ragesh 3 and steal a cruiser, he was the brave warrior even after Jha'dur the DeathWalker placed her damned device in his head and died as it is necessary to the warrior with a sword in a hand..."

Narn woman broken off for one instant, having licked the dry cracked lips with tongue and leant against a cold stone wall, looking on the tiny ray of light falling in her prison cell from an aperture in a wall under the ceiling.
She did not remember, how many days (or years?) sat in this chamber, chained to a wall, like a wild dangerous animal. Time flew differently for her, measured only with the help of a ray of light from a window and arrivals of the Centauri guardsman with meal.
She knew, that becomes a lunatic gradually, day after day. And it forced her to repeat every day names of people died for a long time... Narn woman remembered the list, each name... And it seemed to her, that each time when she says their names, invisible ancestors stretch hands to her, stand near to her, whispering something consolatory, stroke her shoulders covered with dried scars... And it gave her weak hope...for future...
Na'Toth looked at the hands, on her thin wrists with heavy handcuffs and continued to list names of ancestors. She spoke drawlingly, and the solar beam was reflected in her eyes by a scarlet spark.
" I am Na'Toth, daughter of Shu'Toth, I am Narn, and I never shall be the slave... They never will break me... Because I am not alone, even here, in this place, my ancestors will support me... I'll survive, and memory of my family will survive together with me... "

April 2017

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